every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
