Kiss
Puke
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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