i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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