make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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