i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
