if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize