i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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