To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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