I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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