Kiss
Puke
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
