For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
