And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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