The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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