my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
