I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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