some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize