Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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