After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
