The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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