So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
