Buhtt sex?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
