She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
