just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
