Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
