thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
