He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I AM VODKA MAN
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
