Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
