so let's talk penis.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize