she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
why do cheetos always look like penises
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
