chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I deserve this hangover.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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