People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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