no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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