i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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