His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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