TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
