That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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