Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
