went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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