I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
