we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
