so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
