I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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