My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
accomplished twins. life is a go
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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