Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize