Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
