Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
