I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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