Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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