You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm like, not good at living.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
