but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
