so that wasnt chicken after all
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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