how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
