whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize