peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
