Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
