ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
