Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I look better un-naked...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
