her vagine was all disorganized.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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