when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
