Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize