i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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