If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
