hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
