Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
